Ugh. Self portraits referenced from a mirror are HARD. I was lazy a couple nights this week and kept my sketches simple, doing basic outline work or omitting face shape and focusing on facial features. It's becoming a bit discouraging to sit down every night and pick up a pencil. Not a lot of payoff as an artist since I've tried the same portrait over thirty times and still can't get it right!!
But I had an interesting moment today - one I think was brought on by this project. It's kinda strange to explain - and I don't know if I really can. It has to do with how people perceive themselves when they think of who they are.
To give you an idea of what my perception of self is like, I find myself quoting a character in "The Restaurant At The End of the Universe"(by Douglas Adams): “My universe is my eyes and my ears. Anything else is hearsay.” Now there are several applications of this phrase - several interpretations. But in this case, I mean that my sense of self is confined to the universe of my perception. That's all I really know is real, the entire context in which I operate. As far as my brain has stretched in comprehending my own existence.
But as I was walking up to my car today, I caught view of my reflection in the curved glass of my car's window - and it seemed to hit me that this person I'm seeing is me. This person reflected is what everyone else thinks of when they think of who I am. That my identity, my family, all of it is expressed in the shape and form of the person reflected in the glass. A new sense of self, the self that is viewed visually by others, seemed to wash over me.
It was an interesting experience. I don't know if it will help me draw myself any better, but we'll see.
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